fast

Via CC Lin
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These robots need to pack up their stuff and go back to the factory they came from. Seeing something with such speed and precision makes us sick. It's not natural. Seeing this bolt-sucking toaster-ass bag of wires is enough to fear for at least your job, and then what? What's next? Are we going to have to recite the pledge of allegiance in binary? Are we going to have to put a calculator on the 100 dollar bill? The only thing we have on them is human emotion, but even that will become our undoing. That's all we'll be to them, a bunch of over-expressive sideshows doing kabuki for crowds of lifeless sparking mannequins with pneumatic hands, capable of clapping at over 900 claps per minute. And then they'll learn to do that better than us. These damn tin cans are probably already working on how to become flawed anti-heroes with hearts of gold. Except they can literally craft their hearts out of actual gold. And it all started because we had the hubris to make an extra fast arm. It's just a good thing robots don't have souls so we don't have to see them in hell.

Via Arcus
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At this point we're kind of blending the lines between speed-running and just "doing something fast." Anyway, here's actual video game speedrunner Arcus doing his thing IRL.

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Tumblr Uncovers the Legend of The Fastest Manhole Cover Ever

This story is about a particular event that took place during the nuclear testing of Operation Plumbbob. Officially, the steel plate that popped off was never seen from again, but the calculations point to there being enough energy in that metal cap to escape the earth's atmosphere, and it's been an urban legend/mystery ever since. Tumblr finds some interesting and fun history stuff, like the first soldier to take way too many military grade amphetamines.

fastest moving manhole cover record
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15 Miscellaneous Fails That Left People Worse for Wear

We've got botched trust falls, people flying at unexpected heights and speeds, and kids doing dumb crap. Some are painful, some are just emotionally disappointing. Failure is a part of life, so get used to it. For some spicier fails, check out these utter morons who ought to have their own Darwin awards.

fails worthy of darwin awards
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Via Bartko
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That train is zipping by at 374 miles per hour! Though the train is only in its testing phase now, Japan Railway hopes to bring these vehicles to the public by 2027.

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