These parents decided to go out and have themselves a nice old-fashioned drunken time. Unfortunately, things got a little away from the dad and he ended up accidentally flushing an elf down the toilet when they got home! From there it got even worse, cause the toilet got clogged, and now the kids are worried about Santa not showing up!
elf on the shelf
The 'Elf on a Shelf' fad is one that I've always found to be multiple levels of creepy.
First, there's that Elf's smug little face and blank-staring eyes that look like something straight out of Goosebumps. The idea is that this creepy bastard comes alive and stalks around the house at night to reach a new vantage point to spy on you. That premise is somehow supposed to be heart warming despite the fact that it's pretty much the plot to Chuckie.
Second, you have that whole 'spying' part. This little thing is supposed to be reporting on the kids for Santa's NSA service like some hidden camera to force them to behave. Hey, at least we're indoctrinating our kids into the idea of a 'surveillance state' at a young age, right?
Anyways, this poor mom got exhausted of moving her family's Elf around everyday. So first she brilliantly faked that the elf had suffered an injury due to the children's messiness.
She then tried to hide it in the oven and promptly forgot about it...
We say good riddance. That creepy little thing SHOULD be burned.
With creepy eyes and a tendency to jump out and tattle on you, the Elf on the Shelf has become a beloved holiday tradition. Not everyone is comfortable with this, including a professor who warns that our children will learn to love a future with 1984-like surveillance. Jolly St. Nick is watching you.
Via What's Inside
The Elf on the Shelf is a horrific Christmas tradition.
Designed to scare children into good behavior, the Elf is a cheery-eyed Santa crony. He monitors children for the big man, reports back, and ultimately decides whether you end up on the naughty list or not.
Or so we’re told.
Since 2004, the Elf on the Shelf has terrorized children with its watchful gaze and frozen smile. Well, it’s time to pay the piper.
The father-son team over at What’s Inside took a razor to the Elf recently to reveal the plastic, cottony innards and shut down this ruse once in for all.
So what was inside? Did the spirits of a thousand convicted murderers flutter out of the Elf’s stomach?
Well, not exactly. It’s mostly just filled with catharsis, plastic beads, and cotton. Still, pretty great to watch this little creep get torn to shreds.
Via NJ
From NJ:
Harden located the car, a gray Toyota van, parked by the store's loading dock with its engine running, lights on and music blaring, the lieutenant said.
The driver, Brian Chellis, 23, of Cedar Grove, was asleep behind the wheel, wearing an "Elf on the Shelf" costume, Macintosh said.
After shutting off the car's engine and waking Chellis, the sergeant detected a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath, the lieutenant said.
