The world has no shortage of bad first dates. Sure, a bad date is disappointing. But on the plus side, finding out someone sucks from the moment you meet them is a real time saver. And when you get knocked down, you can always get back to swiping on tinder.
dates
In recent years there's been a campaign to make bars less predatory by employing code language like asking for an "angel shot." The idea is that it's a discrete way to get the bar staff to get a patron out of a potentially dangerous situation. The idea is generally thought of as a tool for creeped-out women to get away from men, but occasionally the reverse will happen.
What we have here is a guide book of dating pro tips, a sweet shot at second date redemption fellas. Dating is a tough and maddening business. There's no other way around it. Immense reserves of emotional energy go into mere 'drinks at happy hour' or 'coffees at that cute shop down the street', so much so that it's actually ridiculously daunting sometimes. While other times, the stars align, you pull the right 'moves', and miraculously f*ck up to such a minimal extent that you actually get invited back for a second show. The pro tips passed off in this discussion are reasonable enough, and massively helpful in the dating game, where so much of what's 'right' and wrong' for dating etiquette is entirely assumed, and never spoken. Finally, some checkpoints.
If there was ever a time to point to something and say "see, girls really do like jerks!" this would be it.
Late last year, a woman named Jacklyn Collier went on a date with pharma bro Martin Shkreli some time after his AIDs drug price hike occurred. And then she wrote about it for The Washington Post.
They 'met' on Tinder, where he wooed her with lines like "I’m that guy who has been in the news lately," and sent her photos of his license and credit card as proof of identity. Who could resist a date with that guy? To be fair, Collier describes her motivations for the date as a little less than perfectly honest:
I also had a fantasy of being the manic pixie dream girl who helped him turn his life around. I pictured us opening an HIV/AIDS clinic together and wandering the streets of New York, handing out wads of cash to homeless people and other strangers.
On their date, Shkreli was apparently very awkward and polite. Collier is a vegetarian, so Shkreli (via his assistant) made sure the restaurant could accomodate her diet:
Martin asked, “Is there a vegetarian menu? My assistant said there was a vegetarian menu. There’s a vegetarian menu, right?” He wasn’t being a jerk; it was more of an “I’m stressed because my date doesn’t put raw fish in her mouth” kind of comment.
Aw, he was stressed! He also apparently admitted that just one drink was enough for him: "Martin told me that he was a lightweight, something I’d never heard a man admit on a date (or ever)." Collier seems kind of impressed by this.
As the date went on, Collier and Shkreli discussed their days and Shkreli layed on some thick philanthropy talk, but overall seemed like an okay dude:
Throughout our date, I saw occasional glimpses of the cocky Martin I had expected, but those were the moments that seemed the most false to me, as if putting on a confident-dude front. He seemed the most genuine when he was acting like the guys I hung out with in high school (I dated the president of the chess club); that’s probably why I felt so comfortable on our date.
At the end of the date, Shkreli pulled a real power move that Collier totally didn't see coming: he ordered a $120 cup of tea they had joked about being ridiculous earlier, then proceeded to tell Collier he wasn't much of a tea drinker. Collier describes her reaction to the moment:
I thought of all the good I could do with that money — donating it to charity, buying a new winter coat, buying myself 20 Venti iced soy vanilla chai lattes. He might as well have eaten a $100 bill in front of me.
Afterwards, Shkreli's driver took Collier home. She was left not interested in dating him, but without the sour taste one would expect from spending an evening with 2015's most hated dude:
I am not trying to excuse his professional behavior or say he’s a good person. (I can’t really tell from one date and occasional text communication.) But he’s a lot more interesting and complex than I would have imagined.
My only regret is not guzzling a cup of that $120 tea. As far as Tinder dates go, I’d call that a win.
By Breezy
From the submitter:
I got a random text from a number and I decided to play with the person. Note that my texts are green. Funny part is, they're from Puerto Rico and I'm from Central NJ!
