In a world with well-known dumbass conspiracies like flat earth "theory" and the anti-vaxx movement, mention of conspiracies can be a bit stressful. Some of them are smaller, more specific, and personal. And while many are sort of silly, the more you think about them, the more believable they seem...
conspiracy
The world is a freaky place. Some events sound so extraordinary that they sound like a crackpot fever-dream that no one could possibly have thought to do in real life. You don't need to be Dale Gribble to believe these. On the other side, here are some completely unproven obscure conspiracies that people personally believe in.
Via @LoveMahalHappy
"They never told me that we're living on top!" @LoveMahalHappy tweeted the mind-blowing realization her sister had when she was keyed into the fact that we don't live on the inside of the planet. It's just a matter of time til the conspiracy theorists get to her.
Sadly, you can reliably trust that the internet will vomit up harmful pseudoscience all over the place. Thankfully, some people out there who actually know what they're talking about are willing to explain the facts as understood by the real experts.
Via antoniotimpano
Dale Gribble wasn't some rambling, paranoid, chain-smoking conspiracy theorist after all...dude was right all along. I believe we have another name for "The Beast." Can anyone figure it out?
Spencer McClure told us on Twitter exactly how Toby became the Scranton Strangler.
We've learned a lot in the past year about how Russia has been attempting to use social media manipulation to its advantage in order to shape the opinions and beliefs of those in the western world.
This twitter user used some impressive investigative techniques to uncover one particularly large Russian account that is posing as a British national.
Kellyanne Conway, the architect behind the Bowling Green Massacre and the recent boost in Ivanka Trump profits, has done it again.
During an interview, Kellyanne said that in addition to the possibility of being spied on by your television and phone, camera in your microwave might also be watching you.
Q: Do you know if Trump Tower was wiretapped?
— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) March 13, 2017
Kellyanne: There was an article this week—you can be spied on via a camera in your microwave pic.twitter.com/rObFkIrLGG
Talk about a Pop Secret.
So now everyone on Twitter has been looking at their microwave a little differently because their microwave might be looking at them.
There's been a lot of talk recently about what former-president, current-private citizen Barack Obama is up to. Did he wiretap Trump? Is he planning a coup?
The answer is no. He's just windsurfing and wearing leather jackets. That kind of thing.
But that's not keeping curious people from asking their Google Home if Obama's up to something, and the answer is hilarious. Is Google Home hooked up to Breitbart, InfoWars, or something? We're not ruling anything out.
Via Super Deluxe
Alex Jones is a man who made a career out of making up fairy tales about why homosexuality exist (he thinks "they" are putting chemicals in the water that "turn the friggin' frogs gay." But man is it entertaining to watch him just lose it.
Of course, most of his freak outs are just guttural sounds because he's a man who bleeds blood, but being the living embodiment of trying to talk after drinking too much milk has its drawbacks.
Via Morning Consult
If you need to get your news, you could do worse than The Onion, a new poll shows.
According to Morning Consult, “a media and technology company at the intersection of politics, policy, Wall Street, and business strategy,” the satirical newspaper The Onion, which recently ran the headline “Report: Bananas Still Most Popular Fruit For Pretending To Receive Phone Call” is more credible than Infowars, which recently ran the headline “The Shocking Proof That Multiculturalism Has Failed.” No surprise here: The Onion headline is true.
In a shocking upset to conspiracy theorists and screaming men around the globe, 18 percent of people polled considered The Onion (again, the paper put together for laughs) credible, while only 17 percent considered InfoWars credibe. Even more shocking is our new Chief Strategist to the White House Steve Bannon’s former stomping ground, Breitbart, is only considered 19 percent credible. People aren’t just finding white supremacy very helpful these days.
Of course, as the poll points out, this might be affected by the fact that people haven’t heard of Breitbart or Infowars.
“Credibility was significantly lower for far-right sites such as Breitbart and InfoWars, but both were also hampered by being largely unknown. Forty-two percent of people said they “never heard of” Breitbart, and 49 percent said the same about InfoWars. Twenty-six percent said Breitbart was not credible, while 21 percent said the same of InfoWars. Breitbart and InfoWars did better with Republican men, with 32 percent and 27 percent respectively saying the sites were credible.”
You’re still probably better off choosing The Onion. Check out this headline from the other day. Topical!
