"They never told me that we're living on top!" @LoveMahalHappy tweeted the mind-blowing realization her sister had when she was keyed into the fact that we don't live on the inside of the planet. It's just a matter of time til the conspiracy theorists get to her.
Sadly, you can reliably trust that the internet will vomit up harmful pseudoscience all over the place. Thankfully, some people out there who actually know what they're talking about are willing to explain the facts as understood by the real experts.
Dale Gribble wasn't some rambling, paranoid, chain-smoking conspiracy theorist after all...dude was right all along. I believe we have another name for "The Beast." Can anyone figure it out?
Spencer McClure told us on Twitter exactly how Toby became the Scranton Strangler.
We've learned a lot in the past year about how Russia has been attempting to use social media manipulation to its advantage in order to shape the opinions and beliefs of those in the western world.
This twitter user used some impressive investigative techniques to uncover one particularly large Russian account that is posing as a British national.
Kellyanne Conway, the architect behind the Bowling Green Massacre and the recent boost in Ivanka Trump profits, has done it again.
During an interview, Kellyanne said that in addition to the possibility of being spied on by your television and phone, camera in your microwave might also be watching you.
Q: Do you know if Trump Tower was wiretapped?
— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) March 13, 2017
Kellyanne: There was an article this week—you can be spied on via a camera in your microwave pic.twitter.com/rObFkIrLGG
Talk about a Pop Secret.
So now everyone on Twitter has been looking at their microwave a little differently because their microwave might be looking at them.
There's been a lot of talk recently about what former-president, current-private citizen Barack Obama is up to. Did he wiretap Trump? Is he planning a coup?
The answer is no. He's just windsurfing and wearing leather jackets. That kind of thing.
But that's not keeping curious people from asking their Google Home if Obama's up to something, and the answer is hilarious. Is Google Home hooked up to Breitbart, InfoWars, or something? We're not ruling anything out.
Alex Jones is a man who made a career out of making up fairy tales about why homosexuality exist (he thinks "they" are putting chemicals in the water that "turn the friggin' frogs gay." But man is it entertaining to watch him just lose it.
Of course, most of his freak outs are just guttural sounds because he's a man who bleeds blood, but being the living embodiment of trying to talk after drinking too much milk has its drawbacks.
If you need to get your news, you could do worse than The Onion, a new poll shows.
According to Morning Consult, “a media and technology company at the intersection of politics, policy, Wall Street, and business strategy,” the satirical newspaper The Onion, which recently ran the headline “Report: Bananas Still Most Popular Fruit For Pretending To Receive Phone Call” is more credible than Infowars, which recently ran the headline “The Shocking Proof That Multiculturalism Has Failed.” No surprise here: The Onion headline is true.
In a shocking upset to conspiracy theorists and screaming men around the globe, 18 percent of people polled considered The Onion (again, the paper put together for laughs) credible, while only 17 percent considered InfoWars credibe. Even more shocking is our new Chief Strategist to the White House Steve Bannon’s former stomping ground, Breitbart, is only considered 19 percent credible. People aren’t just finding white supremacy very helpful these days.
Of course, as the poll points out, this might be affected by the fact that people haven’t heard of Breitbart or Infowars.
“Credibility was significantly lower for far-right sites such as Breitbart and InfoWars, but both were also hampered by being largely unknown. Forty-two percent of people said they “never heard of” Breitbart, and 49 percent said the same about InfoWars. Twenty-six percent said Breitbart was not credible, while 21 percent said the same of InfoWars. Breitbart and InfoWars did better with Republican men, with 32 percent and 27 percent respectively saying the sites were credible.”
You’re still probably better off choosing The Onion. Check out this headline from the other day. Topical!
Facebook, a never-ending source of useful information, has been our goto for up-to-the-minute election coverage this past season. As such, it’s probably caused us more anxiety about this election than any one speech, Wikileaks email, or video featuring Billy Bush. Your Facebook wall feeds into your worst fears about the candidates, and Stephen Colbert knows it.
On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night, Colbert took a big swig of cough syrup, dusted off his box of Reynolds wrap, and made a new tinfoil hat to block the radio signals that the Illuminati uses to read our minds. Colbert is full of great intel about such things as the whereabouts of Chumbawumba, the shadowy industry of upstate New York weddings, and what oysters actually are. By the end of it, you’ll have your cork board up and long strands of yarn connecting seemingly disparate items together to prove your theory that, hey, what if the Chicken McNugget is more nugget than chicken?
Check out the video and prepare to have your mind blown.
In 1996, the death of a little girl named JonBenet Ramsey became a highly publicized tragedy. The still unsolved nature of the case has invited a lot of speculation about who really killed her and why.
Conspiracy theorist Dave Johnson claims that JonBenet Ramsey is, in fact, Katy Perry. In the video he says, "Nobody died, nobody got hurt. That sacrifice was in name only, and that was to get something, and that something was to become a star. JonBenet became Katy Perry, and that's a fact."
via KTBS
Wouldn't that be nice?
Of course, this doesn't address the fact that Katy Perry is six years older or that Patsy Ramsey, JonBenet's mother, died of ovarian cancer in 2006 and her father remarried.
Actually, this is all based on the idea that Katy Perry and her parents look kind of like JonBenet Ramsay and her parents. And if you don't examine ANY other facts or think about it too critically, I guess Johnson is right.
But he probably isn't.
