cheetos

What compels a man to wake up, carpe that diem, and proceed to shit away a boatload worth of sweet Benjamin's on a Cheeto? Well, my best bet is a pleasant mix of insanity meets sheer boredom, with a sizeable amount of mouthbreathing stupidity sprinkled on top for good measure. Or, or, it's no simple cheeto at all; but actually it's shaped like Harambe. Yep, that's it. I think that makes this all that much worse.

Nothing like punching someone in the face and stealing their Cheetos.

This video is pure wish fulfillment for anyone who is just sick as shit of hearing the name Harambe. Imagine it: You burst into the office of a lawyer who wasted $100,000 on a artificially flavored snack chip, punch them in the face, and lick Cheetos dust from your finger tips. It's a dream come true.

Don't let the too-cheesy facade fool you, there's savory meats under there too.

And make them flamin' hot too.

There are few snacks more American than the not-so-humble Cheeto, so why not put your local government in the hands of their mascot, Chester Cheetah?

If elected, Chester promises to unnecessarily paint a bunch of stuff orange and give out free Cheetos, which is a better deal than most politicians are offering.

You can check out his campaign website here.