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Twitter Reacts To News of Massive Bull Semen Explosion

If the headline wasn't already obvious, a fire at a breeding facility in Australia resulted in an eruption of genetic material as well as a whole bunch of surprised firefighters. Apparently the heat from the fire made the cryogenic cylinders explode, popping the lids off and making the place extra dangerous. Twitter had some words about the news.

Twitter makes jokes about bull semen explosion.
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funny police facebook post skittles
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Does the five-second rule apply to tasting the rainbow?

Hard to say, but the Dodge County Sheriff’s Office are trying to find out, and being really funny about it. They are investigating a glowing red road, which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be covered in skittles. Was this a prank by one of those sprites that leave candy-related whimsy around the midwest?

No, as it turns out, someone was transporting a crap-load of loose skittles to be fed to cows. Apparently, it’s an old practice to fill cow-feed with candy to keep prices low. Lucky cows. Getting to eat candy for dinner before slaughter and consumption. I wish I could eat candy for dinner!

cattle door knocker piercings - 4913906432
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Ugh now I'm picturing someone actually using that as a door knocker and imagining how that must feel to the guy with the knocker shoved through his nose. It's too early to be this squeamish.