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Contortionist's Burrito Quest Leaves 7-11 Cashier Traumatized

Sounds like the guy found his arch nemesis after all! A truly inspiring tale about daring to be the seemingly demonic force in someone's life. 

tumblr burrito ridiculous food funny - 8260101
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Contortionist on Painkillers Becomes Horror Monster in Hilarious Late Night Burrito Story

Tumblr never disappoints with the weird, specific and overthought pieces of gold, like this mathematical deduction of and Ice Cube Song. Anyway, here's a story of the time a contortionist friend did everything in her power to get a burrito. The results are pretty fantastic.

contortionist walks around town like a creepy monster
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Last week, the internet was pranked with this photo of a supposed Justin Bieber eating a burrito the wrong way. The real question is, was it a convincing fake or did we just want to belieb it? We're gonna have to go with both. Anyway, props to Yes Theory for the artful crafting of a viral prank.

Via GizmoSlip
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I mean a Chipotle burrito is barely capable of being in your without exploding out...

burritos chipotle texts A Man's Phone Was Swarmed by People Texting Chipotle, at Least He Got a Free Burrito
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A man got over 300 texts from people trying to cash in on Chipotle's free burrito special. They were supposed to text RAINCHECK to 888-222 but several people have added an extra 2 and sent texts to Henry Levine instead. 

He told the Washington Post, "The first thing I did was get my free burrito, because I don’t dislike burritos". What a sensible person. Then he started texting back the super fans who sent him more than one message to tell them they had the wrong number. 


via Washington Post

Since then he's become a social media sensation and he appears to be on a quest to get those poor people their free burritos! At least he's got his priorities straight after this newfound fame. 

funny memes chipotle burrito life hack
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Numbers nerd Dylan Grosz over at Apartment List did a series of rigorous tests (aka ate a lot of Chipotle) in order to determine the best way to get more burrito for no more money. Combine any or all of these tricks to get a burrito that is up to 86% larger without being charged extra. Results may vary based on how annoyed your local Chipotle employees are that you're trying to get away with this.