Slapshots are the #2 cause of iPhone damage in Canada. The #1 cause is beavers.

3 is maple syrup spills.

A recent episode of Portlandia depicted the tender moments flashing before Carrie Brownstein's eyes as she drops her dearly beloved iPhone.

I'm so retro, my only monthly plan is the price of stamps.

Oh, so you're a funny guy, huh? You're about as hilarious as the last guy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PKUDTPbDhnA&w=500&showinfo=0]

Rebooting is always your first step. ALWAYS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

It's okay, I'm sure there's a pill for that.

From Reddit user rohanic:

Working helpdesk peacefully in the server room when I hear a loud knock and this outside the door