Dammit Carol, that bacon is more pink and raw than a chapped ass, those eggs look like they've been fried on a sidewalk and the beans are sadder than a racehorse with a broken leg.
If is wasn't obvious by now, make sure your creation is worth reviewing when you submit it for public ridicule.
We swear this isn't an ad for Denny's. We just wanna show you all the weird shit they're posting online. We didn't think Denny's new marketing strategy to appeal to tech-savvy youths could get stranger. Then we found out they've discovered Tumblr. Here's 19 head-scratching moments made possible by whatever the hell Denny's is doing to sell pancakes.
In the age where nationwide restaurant chains can have a direct connection to their customers through social media, many companies are at a loss as to what kind of content their fans want to see. Denny's seems to be into breakfast themed photoshop, movie poster parodies, and absurdist essays. Here's a smattering of the stuff they're putting out. Spoiler alert it's weird as hell.
Japan never ceases to amaze when it comes to where and how you can take a bath. Mere months after the announcement of the Spamusement Park, the amusement park/sauna/peetry dish, comes an intense one up.
The infamous Hakone Kowakien Yunessun, Japan's hot-spring theme park (not to be confused with Beppu City, the spamusment park) is opening a maple-syrup bath in celebration of the 60th anniversary of the Japanese food company Morinaga's pancake mix. I feel like a card would've done the trick. Of course, this is already competing with some of the park's other attractions, which according to Grubstreet includes tubs of green tea, red wine, sake, and ramen. Who wouldn't want to swim in these things?
The response, as you can imagine, ranges from the confused to the enthusiastic.
How does this not violate international peace treaties?
7-Eleven thinks, for some reason, that they can replace the taquito and Slurpee as the breakfast of choice for 7-Eleveners across the nations. And to begin their own war against their own product, they’re dropping a breakfast atom bomb: A breakfast pizza.
7-Ellllllluuuuuvuuun…
Oh, sorry. I passed out for a second there. I thought maybe I typed 7-Eleven breakfast pizza. Just going to take a quick look at the previous paragraaaaaaaa…
Yup, Passed out again.
7-Eleven is adding breakfast pizza to their stores with such toppings as “smoked bacon, breakfast sausage, hickory-smoked ham, scrambled eggs, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and peppered cream gravy on top of a flaky biscuit crust,” as well as my throw up. You can get these cheap-o pizza for two-for-$2 or an, gulp, entire pizza for $5.55.
“This is a hearty option for customers craving a warm breakfast in addition to their fresh-brewed cup of coffee on cold mornings,” said Nancy Smith, 7‑Eleven senior vice president of fresh food and proprietary beverages. “And it’s great for sharing at the office giving co-workers another great option from the usual box of great donuts.”
This woman is downright dangerous. Be safe out thereeeeee...
Two giant boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and an entire gallon of milk., who's up for that challenge?
