Roses are red, Stay on your guard, Actually, just stay in bed, Adulting is hard.

"Too lazy to take a trip to the bank to throw them into a machine but willing to carry around an entire backpack full of pennies..."

"Bessie went boom again."

"Karen, still mad, admits she is in the wrong restaurant."

The best part of this story is that his wife tries to act like she didn't sign a new contract.

"After that every morning when Bessie comes in she throws her tantrum screaming about how lazy young people are, no one wants to work, all the usual boomer greatest hits."

"That was two months ago and he never replied to that email. Today, he called back."

“Mate, during this whole interaction you not once said ‘please’, I guarantee if I give you this spot you will not even think of saying ‘thank you’.”