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Guy’s Bat-Infested Attic Turns Into Comedy of Errors

Apparently getting bats out of your house isn't as simple as spraying some poison around or throwing up a bat signal. Dave Hill found out first hand that bat removal is more of an art than a science. Ever get too "behind-the-scenes" and realize that no one really knows what they're doing, like ever?

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science fail vampire bats feed on human now
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As if there weren’t enough to worry about this year, vampire bats, the bats with the scariest name in the animal kingdom, have developed a taste for human blood. Yes, human blood. If you’re reading this and are human, that should rock you to your core.

According to a report from New Scientist, researchers in Brazil found traces of human blood in vampire bats’ feces. They report:

“Enrico Bernard from the Federal University of Pernambuco in Recife, Brazil, and his team analysed 70 faeces samples from a colony of hairy-legged vampire bats, D. ecaudata, living in Catimbau National Park in north-east Brazil.

“They found that three samples out of the 15 they managed to get DNA from had traces of blood from humans. ‘We were quite surprised,” says Bernard. “This species isn’t adapted to feed on the blood of mammals.’”

via Shutter

The article goes on to say that vampire bats usually feed on birds, but due to human encroachment, they may have started moving on to most dangerous game… HUMAN. 

Well, 2017 is off to a great start.

wtf poop sparkly bats - 8209179904
Via Wired
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Bats eat a lot of bugs — up to two-thirds of their body weight in insects daily for some species. There's an unexpected side effect of all that insect eating, though. Bat scat is described as "sparkling with insect exoskeletons." Generally the words "sparkling" and "feces" aren't found together, unless you have a toddler that's gotten into a jar of glitter.

It's a diet of insects that puts the shine in bat guano. Insects' exoskeletons, or hard outer coverings, are made of chitin. Chitin is chemically a lot like plant cellulose; it's difficult to digest, and passes through a gut relatively unchanged. If you eat a lot of shiny insects, you are going to produce Twinkle Turds.
wtf toads bats science funny - 7821251840
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Toads have been known to eat bats, although usually only when they happen upon one opportunistically, said Rachel Page, a researcher at the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Panama who wasn't involved in the present finding. However, some toads and frogs will systematically wait outside of caves and catch bats as they emerge from the roost at night, Page wrote to LiveScience in an email. This has been seen in Australia, she said.
However, bats are not always the victims in this animal-eat-animal world — certain species, like fringe-lipped bats (Trachops cirrhosus), have been known to eat toads.