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Obama Manspreads With No Regard for Human Life at the G7 Summit

Barack Obama and Angela Merkel had an eminently shoopable conversation at the 41st G7 Summit this past weekend. While they were busy discussing serious international matters like what to do with Greece's financial crisis and Russia's ongoing aggression in eastern Europe, we were... well... doing stuff like this.

This also marked the first meeting of the G7 since it had formerly been the G8, until we kicked Putin out for being a douchebag. Neener neener, you're not in the club anymore, loser!

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dating barack obama news Malia Obama is Worth 70 sheep, 50 cows, and 30 goats to a Man in Kenya Who Plans to Buy Her Hand in Marriage
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Malia Obama is Felix Kiprono's ideal woman and the Kenyan lawyer says he plans to offer a plethora of livestock to Barack Obama for the match when he comes to visit the country in July.  He has the support of his family members and has a traditional marriage proposal already planned. I'm guessing Malia, who is currently 16-years-old, probably has a different idea for her future that doesn't involve drinking sour milk and living the "simple life" that Kirprono told The Nairobian he has planned for her. 

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Via Mashable
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Obama clearly had his priorities in place when honoring Japan's Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe.  And I quote: "Today is a chance for Americans, especially our young people, to say thank you for all the things we love from Japan. Like karate and karaoke. Manga and anime. And, of course, emojis."

Way to go, chief.

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Somehow the story is even worse than that sounds.

Kam Brock, @Akilahbrock, was pulled over by New York police and her car impounded when officers suspected she was driving under the influence of marijuana (none was found in the vehicle). After getting upset with officers and undergoing a medical evaluation, doctors thought she was suffering from a mental disorder - thinking her claims of being followed by Barack Obama on Twitter were bunk.

The only problem is that Barack Obama DOES follow @AkilahBrock, and around 640,000 other people. And now Brock is faced with thousands in medical bills after being sent to a facility. She's now pursuing legal action as a result of these stupid, insane events.

Check out a full video of the coverage here.