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Wild Things People Overheard While Pretending to Be Asleep

Maybe it's better to be a heavy sleeper, so you don't hear your parents and friends say damaging crap about you. Maybe it's better to hear it and know what they think? Either way, people really need to do a better job of keeping things to themselves. Here are things that people overheard through paper-thin walls as well as the kindest things people overheard about themselves.

Things people overheard while pretending to sleep | whiteblaze-22 36.8k points 2 days ago edited 2 days ago ?26 Something like “She's too old this not going carry her up bed anymore and last time magically transported living room couch my bedroom.
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asleep guard gun police security - 6009330944
By Unknown
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I fully expect her to jump up and pull some ninja move.

asleep guard security sleeping - 5954776832
By Unknown
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Sleeping on the job? No problem, nobody ever robs this place.

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asleep mattress pile - 4897369344
By Unknown
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Who needs frames? Frames are for squares.