What an odd assortment of delightful wonders.

We like Antiques Roadshow as much as we like weird insane crap, and these Antiques Roadshow re-captions make perfect sense to us. Keaton Patti let some true magic fly out of his noggin and did the world a favor by giving us these alternate antiques. Also we regret to learn that it looks like we've used our space machine wrong.

Ah yes, completely appropriate and not made-up at all.

A dream come true.