Samsung

Remember last year, when the great cellphone war went up in smoke as Samsung phones started blowing up all the time. Well, now, I guess you're dumbass Android-using friend can be all shitty about their phone again because this iPhone blew up too.

So my IPhone 7 plus blew up this morning 🤗 was not even using it, literally no explanation for this pic.twitter.com/sQ8CJt4Y69

— Bree✨ (@briannaolivas) February 23, 2017

Apparently, Brianna bought the phone, and while she suspected it didn't look right, she took it home anyway, assuming that because it wasn't a Samsung phone, there's no chance that it could blow up. However, she was wrong. Dead wrong. Her boyfriend caught the phone smoking and squealing the very next monring, so he dumped it in the bathroom, the only falme retartant room in the house, for safekeeping.

@briannaolivas pic.twitter.com/MLllo8DvSa

— Bree✨ (@briannaolivas_) February 23, 2017

Yup, looks like you're going to have another one of those conversations about which phone is better, and you won't be able to get out of it by saying iPhones don't blow up. Get ready to hear about how Galaxy phones are endlessly customizable. However, when you ask what is customizable about it, they tell you something that you would never want to do to your phone.

But we live in a post-iPhone blow up reality, where we have to put up with convsations like that, and there's very little we can do about it. Even the Genius bar can't save you because this phone blew up. 

In the ongoing war between Apple and Samsung, the battle has turned not towards more practical and useful products and services, but rather which company can impart the most damage on its users.

As has been reported, and even mocked by the president and Grand Theft Auto, Samsung has been the champion of flamable phones for the past few months. Samsung has been an innovator in how to leave their users with burns thanks to the explosive Galaxy Note 7 smartphone.

via GIPHY

That was until the Silicon Valley stalwart Apple has had their say.

After falling asleep watching a movie on her iPhone 7, a pregnant Australian woman awoke to several “superficial” burns on her arm, leaving “an imprint of the phone and charger etched into her skin,” according to Metro.

While she’s probably relieved that the phone didn’t blowup, Melanie Tan Pelaez did claim to also “experience sudden pain, pins and needles, numbness and shortness of breath.” Genius Bar can’t fix that.

The burns, Pelaez was told, wouldn’t be covered under the warranty, as Apple “allegedly denied that the phone was to blame ‘as it didn’t have a distinct smell’ and told her the phone usually shuts down if overheating occurs.” The phone has since been sent to California for testing.

Hey, if it doesn’t smell like an Apple burn, it’s not an Apple burn. Now, let’s see Samsung build an explosion with a signature smell. Google Pixel, you smell what we're cooking?

Oh, cultural misunderstanding...

Someone please combine these phones already.

Followed up by: "CEO nobody cares about announces he is super gay and supports Linux."

Warning: Language... in addition to the whole phone-on-fire thing. Yeah, keep that warning in mind too.

We've got a bunch of Oscar nominees right here, people!