Madonna

Talk about a truly spectacular entrance. It doesn't get much better than this. The crowd was absolutely electric. 

It seems like nothing is going right for Madonna during her Australian tour.  She's already made headlines for being accused of performing under the influence and for another concert that started two hours late.  

Apparently, this latest incident was during some kind of butt spanking interlude which stars like Ariana Grande have previously participated in. This time, 17-year-old Australian model, Josephine Georgiou, was the honored recipient.

With just a tug on her shirt, Madonna caused a wardrobe malfunction that obviously left everyone a little surprised. A lot of people are pretty upset about this because of Georgiou's age and because Madonna's "recovery" included some joking about sexual harassment. Don't feel embarrassed on Georgiou's account, though. She told Courier Mail, "Only I get to decide if I'm humiliated or not. Why would people assume I am humiliated by my own breast, nipple or body?"

Oh Madonna, just when we thought you couldn't be more irrelevant you find ways to surprise us!

Reports indicate that the vampire known as Madonna is still running wild. Darke, on the other hand, appears somewhat distressed by the occurance. 

Tidal is a new music streaming service recently acquired by Jay Z, who Madonna and many other musicians awkwardly promoted earlier this week. More importantly, WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

Madonna, that timeless paragon of feminine beauty and performance who probably needs to stop setting herself up for things like this. Whoops!

Madonna recently posted this gem of a pic to Instagram sporting lacy lingerie and a near-closeup of her hairy pits. Perhaps this is a deliberate encore to her recent photo of herself dressed like Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones. It's just like Madonna to one-up herself. Kudos!

Exactly why she's hashtagged this "art for freedom" like it's some sort of revolutionary act is anybody's guess - because nobody has taken a stand against typical norms of feminine body hair, and certainly not anybody from the heady days of 60s and 70s feminist thought. Regardless, good on you I guess? Now to wait on the dozen think-pieces and overblown reactions over some hair that nobody really cares about!