So you've just run over 26 miles dressed like a goddamn building, right? That's hard to do even if you're not dressed up like a tourist attraction. Sweat is pouring down your clocktower. You get to the finish. And you realize. You've failed to check the height requirement for the finish line. Goodbye, personal record. For more fails from the wide world of sports, here are some sports fails to make you feel alright about not being an athlete.
London
These are not the results the New York Times expected when they asked Londoners about what petty crimes they've endured. Instead, we got a fine assortment of first world problems in their finest form.
It's not every day you see a horse making moves at entering a double-decker bus in London...or like anywhere for that matter. The horse was photographed by politician Simon Crowcroft while he was out on a road in London. Before mass hysteria set in amongst, well everyone, a TfL Bus Alerts Twitter account was able to try and bring some clarity to the situation.
Via MxJackMonroe
People of London were absolutely horrified to see these buttons with the words "Tube chat?" popping up all over the place. The source, according to Mashable, turned out to be a man named Jon Dunne and his wife, both from small towns in America and now living in London. He told them, "I thought it would be way more fun [but] it was sort of brutal."
No kidding, the response to #tubechat has been hilarious but not very welcoming.
via @MxJackMonroe, @vodkaboris, @sayshannon, @jonoread, @gdimelow, @stevenjmesser
Although, this one isn't a bad idea:
via @corabauer
The Citizens Advertising Takeover Service (CATS) just replaced all of the adverts in a London tube station with pictures of cats. Why? "Wouldn't it be great not to worry about the holiday we can't afford, the car we don't need, or the body we don't have? Imagine a world where public spaces made you feel pawsitive." That's why!
A 5 year old girl noticed that there are plenty of police dogs, but not any police cats and she wanted to know why. So she wrote to her local police headquarters to get answers. The chief responded with a sweet note and a drawing of his own cat for good measure. Yeah, this story is adorable.
Via Mashable
Last November this cat set the internet ablaze after being spotted on a supermarket shelf in South London, with an unparalleled pokerface.
Well, this cat's back. Yes, the exact same one, in the exact same store.
The cat has come back to Brockley Sainsbury's. pic.twitter.com/2AKRosiEGM
— Nigel Thornberry (@J_Tema) January 6, 2016Here's the photo from last November, in which he's wearing the same don't-fu*k-wit-me expression.
It's time for Sainsbury to face the cold, hard, and definitely furry truth; this cat ain't going anywhere.
Via @kflorish
National Health Services (NHS) worker Kara Florish took to Twitter to document receiving a body-image shaming business card on London's Underground.
The card, which states to be from a group called "Overweight Haters Ltd", reads "fat" in large letters on one side. The other side contains a paragraph with a description of the "organization".
Writer Sean Thomas Knox witnessed a similar, separate body-shaming card incident, and tweeted about it's authenticity.
British Transport Police on Twitter are asking anyone with any information to get in touch with them.
