Father

It's your special day. What could be nicer than having an ex blow up or a pirate walk in? Some people have a pretty bad problem with holding their peace.

4 year olds are brimming with creativity, wonder, and the ability to lie through their little teeth for personal gain.

So apparently if you don't keep an urn sealed well enough, the human remains inside turn into a formidable brick of your loved one. Luckily, we live in 2018 so you can go to the internet for answers. And especially luckily, people have more to offer than just a simple solution. They also have terrifically dark one-liners.

The jury isn't out on whether allergies exist. Most people understand that. Most.