true facts

And you thought rigor mortis was bad before...

Not shown: American Apparel - $35 (and you feel a little gross for wearing it).

No attempts at humor here, just the truth. Let that one sit with you for a second.

I'm pretty sure Larry David is just talking about every single person here.

Yeah man, I hate that stuff almost as much as poorly-colored text in a captioned image.

No remorse, no regrets, only bonnets and sunflowers.

Don't worry though, you still have fewer problems going on than the guy in the psychedelic animal print to your left.

Which is it, novelty t-shirt? I can't understand you when you're being purposefully contradictory like this!

I was sort of happy with "Philip," but you've got a good point there.

I mean, I'm going to need a Zanax just to cope with thinking about what this shirt is talking about.