true facts

Once you're done weeping into your bowl of sad-soup, go check out some more Emo kids!

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

Don't worry though, you still have fewer problems going on than the guy in the psychedelic animal print to your left.

No attempts at humor here, just the truth. Let that one sit with you for a second.

And you thought rigor mortis was bad before...

I was sort of happy with "Philip," but you've got a good point there.

I mean, I'm going to need a Zanax just to cope with thinking about what this shirt is talking about.

From the department of Poorly Dressed studies.

No remorse, no regrets, only bonnets and sunflowers.