true facts

No remorse, no regrets, only bonnets and sunflowers.

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

Don't hide your affection men, we understand. Say it loud!

I was sort of happy with "Philip," but you've got a good point there.

Not shown: American Apparel - $35 (and you feel a little gross for wearing it).

I'm pretty sure Larry David is just talking about every single person here.

Once you're done weeping into your bowl of sad-soup, go check out some more Emo kids!

I mean, I'm going to need a Zanax just to cope with thinking about what this shirt is talking about.

Don't worry though, you still have fewer problems going on than the guy in the psychedelic animal print to your left.

And you thought rigor mortis was bad before...