true facts

Don't worry though, you still have fewer problems going on than the guy in the psychedelic animal print to your left.

Not shown: American Apparel - $35 (and you feel a little gross for wearing it).

I'm pretty sure Larry David is just talking about every single person here.

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

And you thought rigor mortis was bad before...

Once you're done weeping into your bowl of sad-soup, go check out some more Emo kids!

Which is it, novelty t-shirt? I can't understand you when you're being purposefully contradictory like this!

No remorse, no regrets, only bonnets and sunflowers.

From the department of Poorly Dressed studies.

I mean, I'm going to need a Zanax just to cope with thinking about what this shirt is talking about.

No attempts at humor here, just the truth. Let that one sit with you for a second.

Yeah man, I hate that stuff almost as much as poorly-colored text in a captioned image.