sideburns

And bring him a pair of scissors instead. Preferably an electric razor.

Hipsters wearing something mainstream? Or is that ironic? My head hurts.

I reckon we have some terrible fashion decisions up 'round these parts!

No hate here, no jokes, I'm just mad-jealous of that sideburn-hair thing you've got going on. I'm pretty sure that sort of thing is against my school's dress code.

I bet Ambrose Burnside got so much action.

It's the sideways mullet!