oh god why

Straight from the pages of the Sunday not-so-funnies!

And by work I mean strip club. And by strip club I mean the unmarked dumpster behind the Jiffy Lube.

Wall-E here is getting all kinds of feelings that he didn't know he could feel before.

Point is, I understand this makeup job about as much as I understand math.

We never asked for it to end this way. Alas...

I mean, we've all been there. I'd much rather look like a cartoon caricature on most days anyway.

On the bottom here we have your standard-issue "stocky guy," and up top we have "out of shape dad." I have a feeling you'll be pleased with this hybrid model of beach bod!

Then again, maybe you need that tire. It looks like one of your rear wheels is balding quite a bit.

What's worse than one Borat-style mankini? Well...

And clearly you both needed some more sunscreen. Let that molting skin be a reminder that we didn't come to the Pearl Jam concert to see this.

Someday, maybe the rest of the NBA will be as trendy and fashionable as you, Craig Sager. Until then, we always have the NHL's Don Cherry to tide us over.

Any idea which aisle has the eye drops? Cotton swabs? SOMETHING to clean out my brain?

"What, this IS how I smile!"

Sorry about that, I'm getting heavy "The Ring" vibes from this one. Get back to me in a week if you accidentally erased yourself from existence by seeing this. Thanks!