oh god

I have never been so happy to see a paunch in my entire life. Thank you, thank you for protecting us from that sight.

I don't mean having that hair cut, I mean LOOKING at it can literally make you go blind. Keep this picture on your screen at your own risk.

Just brush it off, you'll be fine.

I'm just going to go back to casually playing Words With Friends over at the bar. Later!

Just let your eyes wander around that photo for a second. We'll wait.