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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Neighbor “forgets” to return borrowed power tools, now wants man’s brand new pressure washer, leaving the owner stuck between politeness and protecting his stuff: ‘We share a driveway (duplex setup), so I see him literally every day and can't avoid him’
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17-year-old refuses to contribute $250 of his own savings to his younger brother's present despite parents' guilt trips and ultimatums: 'I used to love [my family] but we're basically strangers who live under the same roof'
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30-year-old leaves holiday dinner after being relentlessly hounded by his uncle about being unemployed with relentless jokes at his expense: 'Now my mum is saying I embarrassed her and I should’ve just ignored him'
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Employee arrives at their disciplinary work hearing with receipts that disprove the accusations against them, committee still gives them a written warning: ‘Politics trumped evidence’
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Agency tries to steal assignment from rejected job candidate, candidate revokes their access before they can get away with it: 'If they wanted to use it, they would need to hire me'
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