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Oh, you want me to put on some pants? Sorry, no can do. It's HOT out today.

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Obviously he doesn't wear that much because he actually has the color of someone who came out of the ground.

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Or at least, why I stopped shaving at the all-beige outlet mall.

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The tragic accident at the nuclear plant behind him fused his body with that of Zsa Zsa Gabor's.

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Taking the whole "piss PETA off" thing pretty far...

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To be fair, "gritty" reboots always go super well and never, ever backfire for the superhero comics industry. Now that Disney's bought Marvel, it's only the next logical step.

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You'll be doing a lot more than kissing the cook by the time he's through with you.