leather

Doing her best to avoid Scoliosis, I see.

Oh, you want me to put on some pants? Sorry, no can do. It's HOT out today.

Obviously he doesn't wear that much because he actually has the color of someone who came out of the ground.

Cute puppies and funny doggies: I Has a Hotdog has 'em all!

Or at least, why I stopped shaving at the all-beige outlet mall.

The tragic accident at the nuclear plant behind him fused his body with that of Zsa Zsa Gabor's.

Taking the whole "piss PETA off" thing pretty far...

To be fair, "gritty" reboots always go super well and never, ever backfire for the superhero comics industry. Now that Disney's bought Marvel, it's only the next logical step.

You'll be doing a lot more than kissing the cook by the time he's through with you.