guidette

Meanwhile, that bro over there is putting himself out there loud and proud.

"Extra Crispy" is the one holding the camera, for the record.

Kudos for attempting to hide your shame with a pair of glasses, but it's just not working honey.

Truly, a bro and guidette match for the ages.

The guidette uses its bright coloring to attract mates, and its shiny bronze sheen to avoid contact with incoming semi-trucks on local highways.

Oh no wait, we're in no shortage of terrible fashion decisions like this. I guess the eyeliner reserves are in full supply.

They say the contrast between teal and orange makes the subject appear more vibrant and emotive. I'll let you take a look at these bronzed knuckle-heads and determine that for yourself.