gross

No matter how conservative you may be you'd still probably ask her to take this off.

I thought the same thing until I met your mother...

You know what else doesn't get you laid? Improper apostrophe use. For shame!

Are they going for the post-apocalyptic, radiation cancer look? Chernobyl is SO HOT right now.

That wouldn't even work anyway, you couldn't just use my number as yours... oooooohhh I get it now! Still no.

Hyper color stripes have never been known for their slimming properties.

Wait, no, that doesn't make sense. OH GOD WHAT AM I LOOKING AT.

I mean, assuming there aren't any extra eyes hanging around elsewhere.

... I mean fattest.

I wonder if she's gonna actually catch a fish with those...

Remember people: The answer is always another slice of pizza.