adidas

Just remember: Comfortable and stylish athletic shoes are the gateway to DRUGS AND VIOLENCE.

When the going gets tough, the tough make ugly sandals out of reasonable shoes. Such is the cycle of life.

Also doubles as camouflage during your spring jogging sessions!

I'll be the first to admit this: I want this tracksuit.

...and it looks like the model's ready to head up the runway now!

The shoes that go great with your lifetime sentence at Alcatraz!

Update: These crazy shoes, designed by Beverly Hills designer Jeremy Scott, have been officially pulled by Adidas after comments from Twitter and other social networks pointed out their resemblance to slave or prison shackles. Adidas apologized for the mistake on their part.