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Wait, so you don't want to show off your cleavage, but you DO want to avoid wearing something "bulky" so that you can better show off your stomach, hips, etc? That makes sense.

And it looks super hard.

If you're going to wear a Doors vinyl record on your ear, don't you think People Are Strange would be a more appropriate song?

... and if you do, keep on your head until you suffocate.

Not so floppy now, are we?