Thanks for grabbing the camera before helping me, folks.
All drains lead to the ocean.
They're more than meets the brown-eye.
(Dad's in the bathroom) Dad: Come in here and look what I did in the toilet! Me: No, I think I'll pass. Dad: Come on, if I just tell you you'll never believe me. Me: NO! Dad: COME NOW OR YOU'RE GROUNDED! (I go to bathroom.) Me: What? Dad: I shot a fly into the toilet with my pee stream.
(after a nasty bout of meds left me on the toilet for far too long) Mom: It's exfoliating your colon!
"According to my calculations, I may be heading in the wrong direction!"
