(*Me, texting my Dad*) Me: So can I keep the cat inside the house? Dad: I'll have to ask the Magic Conch.
Mom: (to my Dad) Honey, will you get me a glass of water? Dad: (looks at me) Get her a glass of water. (I give him a look.) Dad: We feed and clothe you, slave. Get the water!
(When I was younger, walking down the street and we passed a group of guys when one spits on the floor) Grandmother: You gonna pick that up punk? Guy: WHAT? Grandmother: Yeah, I'm gonna stay here untill you clean it up! Guy: How do you want me to do that? Grandmother: LICK IT UP OR SOMETHING! (Grandma keeps staring at him until the guy cleans it off of the street.)
