Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge? Dad: What are you going to use it for? Me: (sarcastically) I'm going to smear it on my genitals. Dad: Mind the cat, that's the kind of pussy you don't want
(*Me, texting my Dad*) Me: So can I keep the cat inside the house? Dad: I'll have to ask the Magic Conch.
Clearly somebody is very familiar with the art.
What's the difference?
Don't stop the toddler from eating dog food! Take a picture and post it to Facebook instead!
(My dad, the night before I'm set to leave for a week-long field trip with my school): When you're gone, I'm going to dance with the cat. And we're going to dance to Lady Gaga, because I was born this way.
