Me: Dude, you really need to call the landlady in the morning. Mom: I am not a dude, I have lady lumps.
(In my Oma's kitchen talking about how much tile i put down while fixing the house. I'm female.) Me: You see these hands?! These are the hands of a working man! Oma: With a rack like that, I don't think you're much of a man. Me: You knew what I meant!