food

Me: It'd be boring being a rich farmer (we're on a seriously long drive) Mum: I suppose. They go round everywhere shooting peasants. Me and 2 brothers: *pokerfaces* Me: Mum, you mean pheasants. Mom: Oh, yeah. Those too. Peasants are tastier, I think. whole family: O.o :L

Little Sister: Dad, you're putting butter in a cup! Who does that?! Me: Cool people. And dad. Dad: Just when I thought you were smart, you had to say something like that to prove how unsmart you is! Me: I'm not the one who said "unsmart."

(We are Jewish. For those of you who don't know, it's a Christmas tradition for Jews to eat Chinese food and see a movie on Christmas, since there's nothing else to do. It's currently a week before Christmas, and we don't know what to eat.) Dad: Maybe we should do Chinese tonight instead of for Christmas. Mom: Honey, DON'T ruin my Christmas!

Dad: After dinner mint? Me: That's a Halls cough drop... Dad: So? After dinner mint.

(Me and mom making dinner, brother's ferret starts running around our feet): Mom: Put him in the oven, will you... Me: OVEN? Mom: Dammit, I meant cage. There's not enough meat on his bones yet. Now the dog...