facepalm

(On the phone.) Me: Could you post me one of my old school shirts? I'm putting together a Hogwarts costume. Mum: What for? Me: A Harry Potter night at the student union. Mum: You should go as a wand!

(Talking about moving to a town in Washington with my mother) Me: We're moving to Pullman, Washington. Mom: Oh, that nice. You've got to go see the Lincoln Memorial and the other things there. Me, staring at my mother: Pullman, Washington... Mom, clueless: Yeah, Washington is our national capital. Me, shaking head: Our capital is Washington D.C.. We're moving to Washington state. Mom: There's a difference?

My Mum (after being told that her new Noah's ark ring was religious): When you think of Noah's ark, do you think of animals? Or do you think of Moses... Or whoever it was that built it?

(My brother finally telling our parents he's gay.) Mom: You can't be gay, you're not good looking and you have no fashion sense.