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Unfortunately, Not Prehensile

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Via honeybadger919
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The Peenasaur is My Favorite Ancient Beast

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By NTPT
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At Least You Have the Speed Thing Down!

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Via The Duty
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These Land Before Time Films are Getting Redundant AND Risque...

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By Unknown
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Mom has a Thorough Investment in this Family Lineage

(Somehow my mom and I ended up talking about penises, I was trying to change subject.) Me: Anyways how was- Mom: Just so you know you're not allowed to marry a man with a small penis. Me: ...what? Mom: Yeah. I don't want any small penises messing up our family genes. Me: What?! Mom: What? Do you really want me to tell you about your father's? Me: No! No, No. No. Mom: Cause he was huuuuge! Me: Oh my God, mom!
By Unknown
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Failbook Failbook
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Play-Doh Made Some Folks Very Unhappy This Christmas

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Via Fatgoldfish4
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Play-Doh has since began to delete pictures of the suspiciously dong-like toy from its public Facebook page, which is of course only making the problem that much worse. So, merry Christmas to all and to all a good wang... er... "Icing Maker."

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Parenting Parenting
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Dirty Dad Jokes Might be the Best Bad Jokes

Via Geoff Fox
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demonstar demonstar
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Demonstar's Uncle Gets all of his Free Meals This Way

(Us at table eating tapioca. My uncle Ralph *has finished his but there is no more): Uncle Ralph: Hey did you know semen is low calorie food? Five calories per go! Me and Brothers: *Push away food* Eeeeeeeeew. Uncle Ralph: Well if you're not gonna eat it....
By demonstar
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We Have to Search Deeper

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By Unknown
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That Kid Has a Future in Comedy

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Via Acid Cow
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Laugh Through the Tears, Little Guy

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By Unknown
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munocanok1 munocanok1
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Munocanok1's Was Admiring the Happy Trail

(Me and my dad sitting on the sofa watching TV.) Me: *Stretching and my shirt comes up a bit.* My Dad: JESUS YOU'VE GOT A HAIRY PRICK! Me: O.o Dad: BELLY I MEANT BELLY!
By munocanok1
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With Conversation Like That, Who Wouldn't Want to Visit?

(My grandma thought it was totally appropriate to tell me about her first time with my now deceased grandpa.) Grandma: I looked at that thing and I said "That'll NEVER fit!" Me: *Awkward laugh* Oh hehe, that's pretty crazy! Grandma: Say, why don't you ever bring your boyfriend over here to visit? (maybe it's cause you tell gross sex stories.)
By Unknown
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