driving

Me: Dad, your car is falling apart, you should really look at getting it fixed. Dad: It's not falling apart, it has CHARACTER. (*Dad goes to open car door, it falls off*) Dad: (*Guilty look over shoulder*) Character?

(My mom and my grandma talking during dinner.) Grandma: (talking about our dog) When I went for a drive with Jake in the back seat he just laid on the floor and cried. Mom: Really? Grandma: Yeah, he just laid down and started crying. Mom: That's what I do every time I'm in a car with you driving.

Me: It'd be boring being a rich farmer (we're on a seriously long drive) Mum: I suppose. They go round everywhere shooting peasants. Me and 2 brothers: *pokerfaces* Me: Mum, you mean pheasants. Mom: Oh, yeah. Those too. Peasants are tastier, I think. whole family: O.o :L

(I've been learning to drive for about six months, and I'm driving a different car than I normally do.) Me: How do you turn on the lights for this car? Mama: Why do you need the lights? Me: Uhm... Because I don't want to die?