You know, whenever I start feeling a bit blue, I start breathing again. Double Entendre at it's finest.
(Talking to my 9-year-old brother) Me: Hey, do you know who is coming on Saturday night? Mom: Your Dad, if he's lucky.
(Brother is leaving to go home, his dog dug holes in the yard.) Mom: You still have to fill my holes. Brother and Me: *laugh hysterically* Brother: That sounded wrong. Mom: Fill in my holes then fix my yard. Me: We don't live in Alabama, mom!
Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge? Dad: What are you going to use it for? Me: (sarcastically) I'm going to smear it on my genitals. Dad: Mind the cat, that's the kind of pussy you don't want
