(Mom and I watching "The First Wives' Club") Mom: You know, if your dad ever wanted to divorce me, I think I'd just murder him. Me: What, why? Mom: Because I'd rather be a widow than a first wife.
Mom: Do you think your father would take you to the chiropractor three days a week? Me: Do you want dad to take me? Mom: No, I just want to know if you think he would. Me: No, probably not. Mom: YES! I'm the better parent. Me: Are you really still competing for best parent? All of your kids are adults, and you've been divorced for years. Mom: The competition never ends. Now, tell me what he did for your brother's birthday.
And his Dad on his chest.
More like the Black Letter, actually. And more like multiple letters.
