Mom: Can I have some ice cream? Dad: Erm... Mom: I'll give you sex.
Me: *putting on chapstick* Dad: Is that stuff good for chapped lips? I wonder if that'd work for my asshole... maybe I should get some.
Me: Why is the remote in the bathtub? Dad: It was surfing the channels. Me: Does that mean the keyboard is in the sink? Dad: Yep.
Me: Dad, I can't remember what RNA is! Dad: Remember, RNA is sort of like an aggressive date. Me: ... Huh? Dad: It helps unzip your genes! Ha!
