dad

(After watching an ad against drunk driving) Dad: Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly! Mom: Yeah, that's a good lesson to teach your sixteen year old daughter. Dad: It's true! Don't make me throw my coffee mug at you.

Dad: What have I always said about smoking? Me: I don't know, it's bad, don't do it? Dad: No, it keeps you thin.

(Talking about my friend's dad being cooler) Dad: Well does he play video games with you? Me: Yes... Dad: Does he watch porn with you? Me: What? No why wo... Dad: Come on, we are going to the video store.