Asshole dad of the year award goes to
(At a holiday gathering, a cheese plate is set out.) Dad: Hey, honey, come here. Try this cheese. Me: I don't really like blue cheese. Dad: No, no, just try it. Me: (Trying the cheese, disgusted.) Blugh, it tastes really weird. I don't like it. Dad (pulls me aside): Your uncles and I all agree that that cheese tastes like our wives.
At the end it was FUN!!
Me: Hey dad, do you care that the only reason I was born was because your vasectomy didn't work? Dad: Mate, if I cared, you would have been named Houdini instead of Ryan.
