conception

(talking to my mom about a project for school.) Me: Yeah, so my teacher says I actually have to talk about an accident that happened in the past. Do you have any I could use? Mom: Randall. Me: But that's my brother's name. Mom: Like I said...

Me: Hey dad, do you care that the only reason I was born was because your vasectomy didn't work? Dad: Mate, if I cared, you would have been named Houdini instead of Ryan.