conception

Me: Hey dad, do you care that the only reason I was born was because your vasectomy didn't work? Dad: Mate, if I cared, you would have been named Houdini instead of Ryan.

(Wondering why my sisters and my birthdays are all in January and February, expecting an aniversary or birthday.) Me: What's nine months before January? Mom: Baseball season Me: What?!?! Mom: It's the only time I drink beer

(talking to my mom about a project for school.) Me: Yeah, so my teacher says I actually have to talk about an accident that happened in the past. Do you have any I could use? Mom: Randall. Me: But that's my brother's name. Mom: Like I said...