Via kerryxpaige
User MysticJoJo's sister made this card for their mother years ago; it was found when their mother recently cleaned her office.
Personally, I'm not so sure how I'd feel about this one, were I put in our fresh-roasted birthday dude of the hour's shoes: on the one hand, the card isn't exactly sweet talk material, but on the other, grandma could be kind of a comedic badass. Perhaps with age and wrinkles comes a greater appetite for insult-worthy humor.