(To my 3 year old niece who is pretending to be a baby doll's mother) Me: Josie, did that baby come from your belly? (Josie looks at me as if I were the dumbest girl on Earth.) Josie: No, it came from my uterus!
My sister, offering whipped cream off of a sundae: Does anybody want this? Mom: You don't like whipped cream? Sister: No... Mom: There goes your sex life.
