(Furniture shopping with my parents.) Mom: I like that this bed has a canopy... I'll have something to tie your dad up to.
Dad: Our entire family seems to have prostate problems. I have it, your grandpa has it, his father also has it... There's a good chance that you might have it too. ME: Why is that? DAD: I dunno, but we make up for it in sexual prowess.
(Talking to my 9-year-old brother) Me: Hey, do you know who is coming on Saturday night? Mom: Your Dad, if he's lucky.
