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No Bottle 40-Hands for the Baby?

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By Unknown
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If You Ditch Your Friends for Your Fiancée, You Will Be Replaced With a Cardboard Cutout

According to Redditor AteMyWheaties, his friend bailed on his own birthday trip because his fiancée wouldn't let him go. The rest of the group didn't let that spoil their plans though, they made a cardboard cutout and had way more fun anyway.

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One Can Only Wait on the Old Rocking Chair for So Long

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By Unknown
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Public Parenting News: PARTY BY THE LINCOLN LOGS

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By Unknown
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Clearly we are dealing with some high-quality journalism here.

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Throw a Drive-In Party!

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Via ThenIDefyYouStars
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Fun for the Whole Family!

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By meganeguard
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Mom Live-Tweeting About Dogs Throwing Crazy Rager On a Roof Just Won 2017

In the grand scheme of unexpected ragers with bizarre locations, this right here just took home the gold. The live-tweet account alone is an exhilarating experience, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. 

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The Nerd's Note

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By Unknown
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For her son, she had to write a "no LAN parties" note.

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LL's Mom Knows that's the Most Popular Character

(On the phone.) Me: Could you post me one of my old school shirts? I'm putting together a Hogwarts costume. Mum: What for? Me: A Harry Potter night at the student union. Mum: You should go as a wand!
By Unknown
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It's True, You Can't Party With Kids

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Via Acid Cow
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Party Time

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By Unknown
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More phone phunny here!

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BRB, Doing Coke off of a Stripper

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By Unknown
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When You Least Expect it, It Will Strike

Me: Mom, can I have a curfew? Mom: You already have one. Me: So, when is it? Mom: I won't tell you. Me: Then what's the point of a curfew? Mom: So we can punish you when you break it.
By Unknown
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Refreshing News!

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Via PillowFist
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The Shocking Truth

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By Unknown
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But Hey, That's Their Job

Mom: OK: No drugs, no alcohol, no sex and no boys. Dad: Basically we want you to have a sh**ty time.
By Unknown
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