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Today in Things That Will Likely Be the Death of Us All: Twinkies Ice Cream

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Respect What We Have, It's Real

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Ted Cruz Nonchalantly Lays Waste to Deadspin on Twitter

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10 Times Kids Told Unbelievable Lies That Their Parents Totally Let 'Em Get Away With

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Highly Unnerving Fan Theory Makes Surprising Connection Between Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, and Dante's Inferno

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Reddit Just Asked One of the Stupidest Questions I've Ever Heard, and, Frankly, I Love It and All The Answers

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48 Ways to Be a Complete Dickhead

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Usually Right Before Asking to Close Out When You Haven't Started a Damn Tab Yet

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Ferociously Dissatisfied KFC Customer Leaves Amazing, Scathing Review of a Literal Shit Sandwich

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Preach

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Conspiracy Theorists Are Proposing Trump's Bodyguard Was Sporting FAKE Arms to Conceal Gun Under Coat at Inauguration

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Poor Couch Fell Victim to a Shitty Future Outside Its Control

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Our Long National Nightmare is Over: The Inauguration Day Bad Lip Reading Is Here

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Wrong Head Was Doing All the Thinking Here

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Savage Comebacks

35 People That Got Wasted By Savage Comebacks

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Rules for a Happy and Successful Life: Don't Smoke, Learn to Park