old

My discerning ear tells me that it CERTAINLY isn't black metal.

It's been, what, 20 years since their first album?

What if we made a mixtape of floppy drive music?

He's actually mimicking a string bass instead of drums, but the result is still pretty impressive.

Hipster printer was jamming before Hendrix.

In an age where we fetishize outdated technology, it's hard to tell if this guy is way behind the times, or far ahead of it. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone carried a phonograph around with them instead of an iPod by the year 2030.

But then the Great Evil crept into the kingdom, its advance troops "The Real World" and "Road Rules" readying the way for a full-scale invasion by the gruesome forces of "My Super Sweet Sixteen," "Newlyweds," "Laguna Beach," "The Ashlee Simpson Show," and "Jersey Shore."

After their moment of popularity, many bands spend an indeterminate amount of time in music purgatory before they become retro and cool again. While in purgatory, legions of 12-year-olds scoff at them cruelly.

If that's the difference between "then" and "now," then why did The Beatles write "I Me Mine" in 1970?

At this rate, the only AC/DC Angus is going to need will be to power his pacemaker.

Steven Tyler's search for his dentures: story on page 30.