metal

The punctuation is especially important.

An eight-year-old can play along with "Stratosphere" by Swedish Finnish power metal band Stratovarius and you can't? What are you doing with your life?

Well if you read the title, you might know.

You can generally tell a metalhead apart from an emo/scene kid by the way they attribute random acts of chance to Dio.

I'm altering your playlist. Pray I don't alter it further!

Twist THE NIPPLES OF SATAAAAN and shout UNHOLY OATHS TO MOTHER HELLBEAASSST.

You realize that this is what the Beatles probably sounded like to grandparents living in the 50s.

No matter what.