My shoes have become a mice-based halfway house

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Lesson: Curiosity leads to S&M discoveries

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The TSA never said anything about sonic screwdrivers

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I also sprained my pride

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Sexy Elmo

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Ragan. Look it up.

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Not violent, just bleeding to death

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It just helps me feel secure, OK?

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BRAKEBRAKEBRAKE

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And I was so hopeful too

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"I made the hooker myself!"

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You'd think they'd be relieved

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Eee! You're Not My Mom!

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I didn't even get the mosquito

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Superman got to wear his underwear on the outside

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IT'S JUST SO SAD

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