And now I've ruined Christmas

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What is that sound?! Portuguese? Oh. Sorry.

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You want a dislike button? Have a timeline.

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Damn that depressing commercial.

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Obscure internet fetishes strike again

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All that groping got really tiring.

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Someone learned nothing from "A Christmas Story"

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Learn From My Fail: I think you need a new hobby

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Maybe we should just go out to dinner instead

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Too warm, too warm!

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Isn't that how everyone dries their hair?

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Sinuses cleared and then some

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And now I look like a Twilight vampire

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Practical birthday gifts are the worst

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Also known as "the time I spent the week sleeping on the couch"

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Hey, it works for him

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