stories

Some people grow out of it, some don't. Children are stupid idiots. Sure, they're just learning everything about the world for the first time, but hot damn are they dumb as rocks for a while there. We were dumb too. We're still dumb, but we can do long division and drive, so that's pretty good. 

As smart as you might think you are, you an always accidentally bite into a super heated pizza roll and lose your own self respect in between the dabbing of hot grease and yelping. At least injuring oneself in a stupid way is a basically universal experience. For some real dullards, here are some facepalm moments from the world's beacons of stupid.

Sometimes people are all-too ready to make assumptions about other people, and those assumptions get in the way of empirical facts. You hope someone doesn't misjudge you so publicly that they make a total fool of themselves. Or maybe you do. Everyone knows wrongful times people were misjudged tend to stick in their memory for years.

Turns out sometimes people have legitimate and varied reasons for dumb and specific food requests. Eh, there's other ways to get back at people without poisoning them.

There's such a thing as blissful ignorance, but we're pretty sure these people aren't it. We do feel sort of bad for them, but at the same time, they provide us with a lot of entertainment, and they kind of make us feel better about our own intellect...

Everyone has a nosey-need to read some horrible and awesome things that have happened to other people, just to make ourselves feel better. This is perfect for that, but it's obviously NSFW.

Perspective can change when you realize you've been taking something for granted. In this case it's interesting to think about how there are so many seemingly inconsequential things that color is used to indicate, like locked doors or plant health. It can be enlightening and pretty funny to learn about how everyone interprets the world, like this tumblr thread that appreciates different perspectives.

As not-total-idiots, we spend a lot of time worrying about making the right decision. Sometimes we can thank ourselves for avoiding a bad situation, and sometimes it's totally up to random chance whether we dodge a huge bullet or not. Everyone has a moment in their lives that the think about "man if that had gone just slightly differently I'd be in some serious pain right now." Hindsight is 20/20 and life is just a constant act of dodging massive bullets.

As much as we'd all like to think we're perfectly rational, we're all creatures of suspicion and superstition. Sometimes we see strange events that we can't logically explain like having some weird premonition or out-of-body experience, and all we're left to do is sit there and go "alright, that was weird. People aren't going to believe this."

Humans aren't perfect, so naturally we're bound to make mistakes at work. It's when we're using expensive tools, or facing ten angry customers that a really big screw-up can have some extreme consequences. In the right field of work, one misplaced screw or faulty measurement can turn into literally millions of dollars of losses. We try not to think about those.

Every school had it's extremely compelling drama, from ways people rebelled against school rules to weird and wild junk said by teachers. Every class had a quiet kid, and while that kid wasn't always the center of attention, they had their moments. When push came to shove, that quiet kid had something insightful or hilarious to say.

It's hard when something extremely strange or unlikely happens, because you want to tell someone without sounding like a liar or moron. People are right to be skeptical, but why would anyone lie about walking in on a vested goat eating a roll of toilet paper? You've got moments like these strange events people can't explain logically that make you think, "how am I gonna tell anyone about this?" It's so hard to explain rare and unlikely moments that went against the odds. 

It's weird that we're surrounded by people all the time, but it's against social convention to have a meaningful relationship with any of them. As rare as it is, people will take time out of their lives to make more of an impact than being just a face in the crowd. Some of these interactions are strange encounters, others are wholesome, but the one thing they all are is memorable.

Everyone's so into this whole self care thing now, it makes you think that maybe they're onto something. Maybe it is time to spend some money on underwear that has functioning elastic. Maybe it's okay to buy a nice office chair that doesn't make your back look like a candy cane. Judging by how it went for these people, it's not. On the other side of it, here are some very reckless uses of money people don't regret at all.

Many of us have heard some wild and awkward junk said by teachers, but the substitutes are an interesting bunch. They seem to inhabit this weird gray area of accountability, and are somehow absolutely free to not give a rip. For some more teacher stuff, here are kids' hilarious misconceptions about teachers.